L33T - And Other Words Of All Kinds

June 20, 2002

I work at a conservative, small-town phone company. Some people who meet me can't believe that I wear a suit to work, or on the other hand people I work with can't believe I listen to HARD rock. When I say HARD I mean, bands like Disturbed, System of a Down, Drowning Pool, Korn and Pitchshifter (I'm sure you know who they are! www.pitchshifter.com dang it!), and other n{ metal bands, along with a few other hard bands. I dress like a normal teenager, you'd never tell I hoard a secret desire for lyrics like "No mommy don't do it again! I'll be a good boy!" or "I'm not gonna lie/I'll not be a gentleman/Behind the boathouse/I'll show you my dark secret." You'd never tell by my sweet, make-everyone's-day-better smile that I love a hard guitar riff accompanying a deafening drum. And you know what, that annoys me. Even my peers that appear and act like your stereotypical rocker, look at me and say, "You wanna go to Ozzfest??" YES THIS 5'5, 110 Lb., SWEET GIRL WANTS TO GO TO OZZFEST. (I mean who wouldn't System of a Down is going to be there). I've even tried to have a rocker look, but I think it just comes off as preppy vintage. I went to my great-grandmother's closet and took all her old clothes. I wear them with pink tennis shoes, and multicolored socks. Maybe I'm coming off emo or punk? Emo and punk are all right, but it doesn't warm my soul like nice hard rock. Perhaps I'm trying to hard and I should just be myself. I am a rocker in my own embodiment, and in my own breed. I just don't want to come off as one of those preppy chicks that think Nickelback is hardcore... because they're not.


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