put a paper bag over her mind -
the lack of updates, folks... I've been working on a new site for my suite..
It'll pretty much be like this only it'll be FOUR guys intead of one posting.
And it'll be on a domain name. So don't hate me. I'll post the link to the new
site on here once I get it up and running. Be patient... Or else I'll kick your
only did you let the team down, you let yourself down as well...
I almost feel bad for you guys that
keep hitting my site and not finding updates... Almost. But here's the update
anyway. I've got a little story that you sickos should find quite humorous, and
then a little link that I happened upon in my general "surfing" of the the
proverbial web today. Ok, on with the tale of stupidity.
For the past
couple weeks there's been a sort of war going on in regards to the AC in our
suite. See, our resident gay guy thinks it's his right to turn up the AC to
fuckin'-75-degrees at night. What he doesn't understand is that the rest of the
suite is then obligated to sleep on top of their comforters because the suite
heats up like two jack rabbits going at it in a wool sock. He loves it, we hate
it. It wouldn't bother us so much if the dumbass turned the AC back DOWN when
he left for class in the morning. But isntead, he leaves the mofo at 75 or
above and leaves. So, the sun comes up, the AC is set too high, and the entire
suite starts cookin'. So have begun the infamous "AC Dial Wars." Now after two
weeks of constant AC adjustments, Paul (here on out referred to as "Fagboy")
decides it's time to ask for a compromise. He comes into one of the other rooms
in the suite where Ryan and I sit playing video games. It gets all awkward for
him (he's not used to addressing people of our sexual-orientation) and he
finally just blurts out, "I thought we could compromise on the AC thing."
Without hesitation, Ryan says, "No, it gets too hot down here, sorry." Paul..
err.. Fagboy replies with, "Well, do you mind if I turn it up at night? It's
for my health." Ryan's response? "Nope, I don't think that's a good idea. It
gets too hot down here." Fagboy gets all worked up, not really knowing what to
say and goes to class. Serves his ass right (no pun intended), in my opinion. I
mean, all four other guys in the suite burn up at night so he can have a little
comfort. There's nothing we can do to de-heat, but there IS something he can do
to heat himself properly: BUY MORE BLANKETS. What an asshat.
here's the link you wanted.
the hell is that supposed to mean? -
tired.. Must stay awake to write satire... Nope, ain't happenin'. Maybe
just paranoid? -
This is what a
4 AM bedtime and a 9 AM wake-up will make you feel like:
it doesn't feel too great. ;)
Ahhh... Nostalgia -
Lookie what I
found on a t-shirt:
Street Fighter is the shinzat.
also, at what I found...
Now, in case you're missing the joke (besides
the fact that it's Chelsea Oh-So-Ugly Clinton), here's a hint:
Another Clinton gets an erection.. Hehe. Disgusting. But
hey, you're still looking, right? You sick chumps.
just paranoid? -
Last night my
suitemates and I went to Orange County and hit Downtown Disney for a bit. We
wanted to go see a movie, but since all of the movies out right now are worth
complete ass, we had to make a decision on which piece of complete monkey waste
we were willing to shell out the $7 Student Price for.. Well, we finally picked
Stealing Harvard (Tom Green and Jason Lee, how can it go wrong, right?). The
previews lasted about 15 minutes.. 15 minutes that felt like 15 DAYS. Every
movie previewed looked like Hollywood had finally run out of original ideas and
was putting Ice Cube in every damn movie. Did you see the previews for
Barbershop? Well, now that that piece of fine art is finished, there's a new
Ice Cube movie where he's a secutiry guard for a parking lot or something
because some Santa-dressed guy robbed him and he can't pay his bills. WTF? The
entire time, my friend Ryan and I were just pleading with the screen to make
the pain stop. But it didn't stop... And now, my mind hurts from being mentally
raped and scarred by the damn previews. Oh yeah, Stealing Harvard was alright.
I'd give it a 3 out of 5 on a scale of.. er... 1-5..
me, damn it - L33T
I've been in California a month and
I've already come to a conclusion about the people I hang out with: They have
no personal beliefs and if they do, they're too afraid to have someone question
them. It's bullshit. If you believe something, the least you can do is discuss
it. I don't even really attack people on things they believe. I just like to
find out why they do believe it as well as what their belief really means.
Unfortunately, my questioning sometimes makes people realize that they're
off-base and need to re-evaluate themselves. Scary. So, whenever I try to bring
up any topic that has any substance whatsoever, they freak and end the
discussion. They're belief systems are that fragile that they think a
questioning session (otherwise known as the Socratic Method) will shatter them
beyond recognition. Dumbasses. Here's a quick sample of something they say to
avoid being proven wrong:
(CONTEXT: I had lowered myself to the topic of
blogs [online journals]. I'd read an article by a guy stating that most blogs
are written by goths and I sent the article to a friend of mine who has her own
blog, thinking that she'd take it as a joke and move on. She did neither. She
said he was generalizing and proceeded to state that "most blogs aren't goth."
Now, if you didn't catch that, she just made a hypocritical statement. So, I
proceeded to ask her how she knows her claim is true. She explained that she
had visited "hundreds" of blogs and they weren't goth. So, I headed to
google.com and typed in the word "blog," receiving over 2,000,000 results. I
excluded half for the sake of repeat results as well as irrelevant finds. I
then did a quick calculation and found that she had visited only .05% of all
blogs on the net. Here's the last line of that conversation and her
ME: So, truly, neither you nor anyone else has any
idea about the scope or the statistics on who's writing blogs at
Unfortunate Victim: Umm lets not waste time on something
that is neither important nor interesting.
That's funny, I thought she
was quite interested a moment before I proved her wrong... Oh
Residential Advisor=Sick Twisted Individual - L33T
one goes out to Rahul... Rahul, the sickest R.A. I've ever had, yet still
somehow the coolest.
stuff - L33T
I realized this today:
Calling down the storm - L33T
For the past two nights, some jackass has decided it'd be fun to pull
the fire alarm at 1:00 AM... Whoever the hell it is better hope to high heaven
that I never, and I mean NEVER, find out who the hell he (or she, them women
folk are sneaky) is. Because if this major alarm-whore ever comes out into the
open, he will be certainly and immediately ass-raped by my legion of warpigs,
THE warpig herself. If that's not enough to make this bastard
stop his fire-alarm-pulling-fetish, I think a nice dip in some acidic
goat-spunk may just do the trick...
not that I'm lazy... It's that I just don't care - L33T
Ok, this site has become something totally different than I intended.
I'm thinking about a total revamp of the look. If anyone has any ideas,
me and tell me. Or just Photoshop an image of it and
me. I'm going to work on it soon.. Like, maybe tomorrow.
empty notion - L33T
Because I have so much work to do and
don't really feel like coming up with a good update,
think yesterday carried over -
Oy. I think
Friday the 13th carried over to today. Or maybe I'm just confused and TODAY is
Friday the 13th. I just don't know. My confusion stems from the fact that I had
to sit through an eight hour seminar that lasted NINE hours. That was all
thanks to the incessant ramblings of whoever that was who was in charge. That,
and there were a few students, who I can only assume were mentally RETARDED,
who kept asking the most inane questions ever. The few competent ones of us in
the back were finding new and creative ways to pretend that we were commiting
suicide. Good times. But there are only so many different ways and tools to use
in self-mutilation before you run out... We ran out. :( Anyway, time to take a
nap and get on the glorious amounts of work I have piled up for this weekend...
Hope you guys faired better than I have today. Actually, I hope your day was
worse. That way, I can feel better about the asshatness that filled my shitbox
of a day.
it IS Friday the thirteenth -
Now, someone please explain why the hell I find this stuff..
Damn that fark.. Damn it.
to the basics -
My roomies and
I were discussing war with Iraq and Saddam Putang when I came up with the most
ingenious idea ever. The way we should get rid of the Saddamizer is to create a
special missile. A missile that will not only embarrass and humiliate the Iraqi
Asshat, but also destroy him and him alone. In other words, the United States
needs to invent an ENEMA-SHAPED, LASER-GUIDED MISSILE. We'll launch it, it will
find Saddam, and proceed to ass-rape him in front of whoever he's with at the
time. And when he goes to pull the smooth metal shaft from his anus... BOOM!!
No more Saddam. Yeah, you like it, and so will he (until the "boom" part).
remembrance of those gone before us -
No irony or
satire today.. Just a poem by William Wordsworth that speaks to me.
slumber did my spirit seal;
I had no human fears:
She seemed a thing that
could not feel
The touch of earthly years.
No motion has she now, no
She neither hears nor sees;
Rolled round in earth's diurnal
With rocks, and stones, and
I'm on the dark side of the moon -
finally changed my major. Why, you ask? Because I was having mucho problemos
with the International Relations program. Namely, the forethoughtless asswipe
of a class that my first IR course turned into. Here's the situation: The class
is made up of mostly upperclassmen trying desperately to finish their major.
Basically, it's a bunch of already-informed people who outnumber the newbies.
So, the professor uses all of the terms and acronyms he ASSUMES that most of
the class is familiar with. He assumes right, of course. Most of the class IS
familiar with his incessant use of abbreviations and lingo. However, we pitiful
freshman have no idea what the hell is going on. I was one of the last ones to
drop out actually. It was at the point that I heard the professor say, "Ok,
well, the SM-SR-ST relationship goes well with the FOPO SOPO system." W00t? My
very next thought was "F*** that." I got up and left. That was the end of my IR
major and the beginning of something wonderful: Culture Through Film. In this
new class, I get to watch chimpanzees scratch their flea-infested asses for an
hour and half. I also get to go to a discussion class where we discuss how the
chimpanzees scratch their asses. Good times....
11:50, time enough for one more post before tomorrow - L33T
We had some women come and visit us just now. NOW. At almost midnight
on a Monday evening. And it wasn't like our door was open and inviting either.
It was shut and the lights were out. Yet they still knocked on the door. Go
figure. *Sigh* They're lucky I wasn't sleeping. I've felt like I've been on the
proverbial rag (you know, the one women say they wish we men would get just so
we could feel their pain?) as of late and someone waking me up at an ungodly
hour just because they wanted to say, "hello," would've lit my fuse. Oh well,
at lesat one of them was hot.
I've decided that I need my own television talk program. It
can be called "You're right.. except wrong" and I can verbally spar (aka: bash)
people about different topics of the day. Topics like the long lines at the
Jamba Juice Bar, stupid movies, and other shiznat like that. I'll end every
segment with the same four words every time too.. I'll say, "Well, Bob, it's
been great talking with you, but you know what time it is? Time to SHUT THE
HELL UP!!! Eventually the audience will get into it too, saying the line with
me. A chorus of "shut the hell up" echoing off the walls of the studio and
domestic society everywhere... Now that's stranger than fiction.