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Archive for
September, 2002
She's
Calling Down The Fire -
L33T
More English
Literature fun today. The same dumb I'm-better-than-you asshat decided to open
her mouth yet again today. With truly stupifying results. Our professor decided
to compare a poem to the teeny-pop icon, Britney Spears. Now, before I'm hung
by my ankles and my hair set on fire, hear this one out. Keiko-the-Asshat
decides to say the following:
"She's a great singer, but she doesn't
have it up here." *points to head*
I have two problems with this.
#1) How the hell does she know how intelligent a celebrity is? I'm not saying
that Big-Boobs-Brtiney is a rocket scientist, but geez. #2) "Great singer?"
What the fuck?! I dont' know what planet ole Keiko is comin' from, but here
most of us (see People Over 12-Years-Old) consider synthesized voices to
be a complete and utter mark of shame on the music industry. In any case, I
responded to #1 with the following:
"Yeah, because we know you MUST
have met her. And you being the most intelligent person in this room, you
surely are the best judge of someone's intelligence."
Everyone, even
the professor, laughed a little at that one. Maybe I should change majors and
become a professional insulter.
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College-educated morons - L33T
Ok, I was in my English Literature class this morning trying to make
sense of a Wordsworth poem while simultaneously fighting to stay awake (note to
self: get MORE than 5 hours next time). We're split up into groups for the
analysis and I've got a pretty decent bunch. However, there's always ONE, isn't
there? In my group's case, the one turned out to be a 350 lb whale with a
Superman t-shirt and the analytical skills of a dyslexic 4-year-old. But she
thought she was the proverbail shiznat and proceeded to try and tear down
everything I brought up. So after a couple run-ins with this self-proclaimed
genius, I just give up and start making jokes. Here's how that
went:
Me: Oh wait, we're supposed to have actually READ this in order
to analyze it?
Group (minus Keiko-the-Asshat):
*laughter*
Keiko-the-Asshat: Since I'm a dumbass, I will proceed to take
your comment seriously, ignoring all other signs of humor... Yes, we were
supposed to read. Why didn't you? I did.
Me: It was a joke... See how
everyone else is laughing?
Keiko-the-Asshat: Did I mention I'm a
dumbass?
Me: Yes, I believe you did. Now shut the hell
up.
Ok, so maybe it didn't go EXACTLY like that.. But you get what
I'm saying.
I hate stupid people.
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Shameless plug -
L33T
Any guys out
there? Check out Rooshlog.com... If you like it, you might want to check out
the bulletin board site linked from the log... Good stuff.
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Mom
and Dad haven't had sex in a loonng time - L33T
Check this out..
A ghost is inhabiting a house in North Yorkshire. Funny part
is that he's horny:
"It's stroked my knee and my hair several times.
It's really creepy," said Mrs Morris, a mother of three.
"Once I was in
the kitchen watching TV and I felt this hand stroking my leg. At first I
thought it was Darren feeling romantic, but when I turned around to tell him
off, there was no one there. My husband was in the other room.
Ok, I
hate to bring this up, but I think Mrs. Morris NEEDS the ghost if she was about
to "tell... off" her husband for arousing her. That's gotta make Mr. Morris
feel very very inadequate. Hell, I would feel inadequate if a ghost was getting
more from my wife than I was. Stupid specters.
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Stop
Kitty Pr0n - L33T
Well, now the toy industry is just
making me sick. Check this new Harry Potter toy out.. *sigh* Sick
bastards...
Still don't get it? Ok, let me give you a hint:
*shudder* I feel dirty just posting this. Ahhh..
this makes me feel
better.
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Fight
On - L33T
Well, USC beat Auburn tonight... Happy
times. I'm really really liking the college thing. Oh, and because I'm in such
a good mood, here's a little something extra for you to have nightmares
about:
Damn preppy rich boys.. Makes me
sick.
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